Bush announces imposition of Martial Law

My fellow Americans, to help protect you from the aL-CIAduh boogeyman, i officially announce the imposition of martial law.
To help me help you, ALL media, including the Internet, will be shut down. Only government approved media outlets, like our dear friends at FOX News, will be allowed on the air.

The Internet needs to be shut down, but this move is temporary. That will give the DHS time to install common-sense controls on the Internet, like OVERLORD software, to prevent the aL-CIAduh terrorists from using this subversive medium.

To further help promote peace and security in our dear "FATHERLAND", armed troops will patrol the streets of major American cities.
Again, my dear friends, this is to protect you from yourselves. Enemies of the "FATHERLAND" are lurking everywhere and these heavily armed troops will be on hand to perform summary executions on the spot to further enhance your security.

Since the Bill of Rights has been declared null and void till further notice, we are asking that any and all firearms be turned into to your local police department for "Inspection." Specially trained units of the National Guard, fresh back from the killing fields of Iraq, will be sent door to door to help you with this vital task.
This is only a temporary measure, designed to protect you, the citizen.

Further, to protect them from any attacks from terrorists, both houses of Congress have been rounded up and taken to a secure, undisclosed location. Again, this is only a temporary move, designed to keep our dear friends away from harm.

Since the U.S. Supreme Court has now been sufficiently packed with right-wing ideologues of my choosing, there will be no need to disband the court.
After all, they will be needed to "rubber-stamp" any and all of my decisions that are absolute and can not be questioned.. except by Reich Marshall Cheney.

As some of you have already noticed, various agencies of the federal government, including the FBI, the ATF, ICE and units from both DHS and CIA, have been rounding up certain citizens, maybe even your neighbors, to put these future terrorists in preventive detention.
Furthermore, to help with the interrogation of these homegrown subversives, certain Army units from GITMO and Abu Ghraib will be on hand to help elicit vital information. Vital information that is needed to help round up more domestic terrorists.

Rest assured, these subversives will be treated more fairly than they deserve, but hey, i'm an easy guy to get along with, just ask any of my corporate donors.

Fellow citizens, these are trying times. Uncertain and dangerous times. To help prevent any future terrorists actions against the FATHERLAND, i am hereby canceling the 2008 elections. Again, this is only a temporary measure, designed with your safety in mind.

When we have finally prevailed in the "War on Terror", elections might be held, that is, if we're not at war with another threat to peace and stability.

So, my fellow citizens, i ask your help in these trying times. With your help, we can be sure of a secure "FATHERLAND" for all.

George W. Bush
"Protector of the Realm"