My "hard satire" in trolling Yahoo! Answer to win trip to NYC

"In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it"

Daniel Waters
screenwriter of Heathers

May be off-topic, but because there's no functioning Yahoo Message Board to post and receive a number of 'recommend this post' points (I used to frequently write innumerable posts bashing Zionism, Bush-Cheney, Neocons and Israel [during 2006 Lebanon war] in boards linked to political & international news), I decided to post the text that I composed to evoke pity and laughs in the spirit of Jonathan Swift (the author of A Modest Proposal).

Human Virus

* * *

Yahoo! Answer

Open Question asked by Jamie O'Neal (who the f is she?)

What advice do you wish someone had shared with you 10 years ago?

The most important thing I’ve learned is simply to believe in yourself. When you’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you, it feels like you can do anything. I think the advice I would give everyone is to never let go of that feeling. Don’t be afraid to just go for it. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something; anything is possible.

I’ve also learned the importance of good friends. Many of my relationships began through my career, but now the friendships overshadow any professional success we may have had together. Life is so much more comfortable when you’re able to sit in a room full of people you care about.

What are your life lessons?

Share your story and you might win a trip for two to New York City

Visit http://promotions.yahoo.com/olaydefinity
to find out how.

* 17 hours ago
* - 4 weeks left to answer.

___________________

I have had no mentors. No good teachers. No caring parents. No peers.

I was on my own. I actually met David Hasselhoff when he appeared for signing session at Tower Records when I was a gawky 16 years old boy in May 1995.

He sent me a nice postcard with him posing topless in the pool of water (Baywatch publicity photo) that says in black permanent marker ink:

"Believe in yourself! You make it happen.

(signed) David Hasselhoff"

I wish I had taken his advice. I'm a college flunkout due to my lackluster academic skills and I work awful job after awful job.

There's no such a thing as a good life lesson. One must possess adequate skills in networking and relationship to gain superior confidence and have the burning desire to succeed.

I have none of these. I don't care because I'm generally considered a social reject with no future. All I have is my keen intellectual ability and most people found me boring because all I talk about are the topics of politics, history, Western philosophy and sociology instead of the usual banter about the bullsh!t celebrity gossip, hot romantic relationships, etc.

I am a misanthrope, albeit humanitarian. I am proud of the fact that because I'm a loser, I have much more to say with substance than try to make it in the f*cking rat race to see who will be better at making money, getting laid with a hot girlfriend/wife/whore and reproducing prettier offsprings.

If I had the good support of the peers and great teachers as mentors, maybe my life would be different. It comes with the advice of being outgoing to make good friends who will not backstab out of selfishness, malice and disloyalty, setting the realistic goals and being yourself to create the ultimate you in success, satisfying sex life, reproduction of next generation and blissful happiness.

"Real misanthropes are not found in solitude, but in the real world; since it is experience of life, and not philosophy, which produces real hatred of mankind."

Giacomo Leopardi (1798 - 1837)

Poet, essayist, philosopher & philologist in Classicism & Romanticism and Pessimism

Source(s):
Experience, reader of Immanuel Kant, Arthur Schopenhauer & Friedrich Nietszche, knowledge of truth in the world of Machiavellian politics

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Note: there are some hysterical answers. Don't take it literally.