An Open Letter from "Joe Sixpack" to you Muzlim types

An Open Letter from "Joe SixPack" to you Middle East types

i am writing this letter to clear up some confuzion that you people seem to have about us Americans. My favorite newz chanel, FOX, has been reporting some donnright nasty things said by you people about us Americans.

You people seem to think that we all a bunc of half-wits, with no idea how to vote or even tink.

i'll have you now that i almost graduatted from high school. Hell, i would have excpet my girlfriend got pregnant and we had to get married.

So, bub, who you calling a half wit? Huh? Why i'll have you now i reed evey isue of Natinal Enquirer from cover to cover and have a paid subscr... uhs subs.. uhh oh hell, i get "People" migazine evey munth.

i can tell you the most intimit details about Britney or Paris or Lindsey. i can recite from memori the NASCAR cup winners from the last 5 years.

To keep up on what else you people are up to, i lizzen to the godly John Haggee. O'l John has the inside skinny on you folks and let me tell you, it aint good.

That "Man of God" Reverd John, is telling us wez all get raptured up to heaven, as soon as our great leeder and devout Christian, GW Bush, nukes a few millionz of you rug heads, then our Jesus will welcom us with open arms. Hows them apples?

i just love to listen to Limbaugh and O'Rielly who tell us Americans the truth about you people.

So how's the half wit know, huh?

As for the EyeIragi invasion, i don't care how many of you pesky Ayyrabs we gotta kill, as long as i can buy gasoline for less than $3 dollars a gallon.

Sorry to cut this lettr short, but i'm late for my church's "Christians United for Israel" meeting. Were i'll get more solid factz on you people.

Signed

Joe SixPack
Barf County, Oklahoma

P.S. Although this was written "tongue-in-cheek" as satire, believe me, it's not that far from the truth in many places in the USA, especially the part labeled the "Bible Belt."

That's where around 70 million christians known as Evangelicals and or Pentecostals reside and believe me, they pray for those nukes to start falling so they'll all be "Raptured" up to their version of heaven. These "devout" christians don't give a damn how many people have to be turned into charred corpses, as long as they can experience the "Rapture."

A curious side note to this madness: In the King James version of the bible, the word Rapture is never mentioned.

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Well!I would call them 'AMERICAN TALEBAN'
creation of a mindless brute movement.

veritas | Wed, 2008-02-06 18:41

"A curious side note to this madness: In the King James version of the bible, the word Rapture is never mentioned"

That's because the earliest the idea ever existed was 1788; But that was not the Baptist version, which didn't exist till 1827. How's that for the authentic "God's Word"?

Webcomicjunkie | Wed, 2008-02-06 19:36

I see Jewish people aren't the only ones who hold themselves in such high regard. Call me thin skinned or easy to anger, but I cannot laugh off this ridiculous characterization by a website I frequent and tend to agree with. I'll be the first to agree with you that those here in the Bible Belt are as ignorant a people as you'll find in a 1st world country, I get frustrated by their thick skulls daily, but at least the ignorant here have an excuse. The paupers here are too busy trying to feed their families, living hand to mouth, barely scraping by, to put much interest into what's going on anywhere outside the hell they inhabit. They don't give a shit about Israel, Palestine, Iran or Iraq. The few people who are duped by the MSM and exhibit the rationale you have satirized, are the ones who get the media's attention. Last I saw, Ron Paul's numbers were as low in the cosmopolitan/upper echelon areas of the country as they are here. What's your excuse? Don't plead ignorance. Perhaps stupidity? I understand no people are devoid of mental deficients. I would hope the leaders of alternative media would understand this. I understand how detrimental it is to start categorizing people, especially following guidelines MSM provide. I hope you will come to understand this. Divide and conquer. You are working against yourself and doing the enemies job for him. Maybe you and the Jewish supremacists running things are in agreement on some issues. They killed tens of millions Christian Russians who they saw as the problem on account of their xenophobia and hard headedness. Maybe upon our extermination your job of enlightening the better sort will be that much easier. But then you would have to rely on the prissy, thin wristed, panty waste cosmopolitan, east/west coast dandies to keep arms against the NWO. Then I will be laughing from the grave. You are no better than me. I am no better than you. We need each other right now because we are both neck deep in the shit, I simply ask as we descend into the sludge you not bash about my head with the floatation device, and we set forth to dig our dependant asses out together.

By the Way: Alex Jones, David Duke, Reverand Ted Pike, Curt maynard, Pastor Butch Paugh, all from the Bible Belt, all evangelicals of a sort, all leading the call to stop the madness of U.S. support of Jewish supremacy.

Dupes of Hazzard | Thu, 2008-02-07 01:08

i have no excuse as none is needed. If indeed you are as thin-skinned as you say you are, then it would probably be best to not read incendiary screeds such as i write, as they might cause certain people to have a melt-down.

And i'm not buying that stuff you're pushing about some poor people being so hard up to put food on the table that they ignore the radical parts of the christian religion.

i live in the bible belt and i'm familiar with more than a few of those poor folks and they can't do without a "bible-thumping" at least once a week.

You can read what i write and get so pissed, that you close your mind to other's thoughts or you can open your mind and realize that it's a big, complicated world out there.

As for Springer, i assume you're referring to "Jerry Springer."

i've never watched that junk food for the brain and never will, but some people enjoy that kind of escapism.

Greg Bacon | Thu, 2008-02-07 01:41

Easy tiger, didn't mean to strike such a nerve. All I'm saying is calling out 70 million of us as the problem is counterproductive at best and not the prime method of attracting new adherents from the 70 million ranks. Maybe you could think on this one awhile. As I said I come here often and tend to agree with you. I can appreciate your displeasure with the ignorance of the masses but not the speed with which you are ready to write them off. I get the frustration you wrote the article implying. Your critique of Evangelical dogma has been colored by MSM hues. I grew up Baptist and didn't have any idea I was an evangelical until Papa MSM told me so a few years ago. I question your analysis of the cause of ignorance in the Bible belt-so you don't buy financial strain as a method of controlling peoples minds, I'm sorry but I can't agree. I guess were all a bunch of low grade morons instead. By the way my Uncle can recite from memory the past 5 nascar cup recipients and then school your ass on the finer aspects of the NWO. Ethnocentrist! I will read whatever the hell I want whenever the I want and comment until draconian measures are used to stop me, Mr. Bacon. My call for you to join me still stands. Yes, I did mean Jerry Springer and must recommend him to you as apparently you two have much more in common than you think.

Dupes of Hazzard | Thu, 2008-02-07 02:20

What's your excuse? was intended as a question to the upper echelon areas of the country as to why with all the amenities and leisure time you enjoy you seem to be unable to pull your head out of your asses-not a direct question to you. I assumed from your sentiment you must have been from the better peoples part of the country.

Dupes of Hazzard | Thu, 2008-02-07 02:42

This was an obvious stab at the frothingly insane Christian Zionists, or the lunatic fringe, if you will. Nothing to get upset about. If you're not a Zionist, you're not 'Joe Sixpack' in this context.

Crimes of Zion | Thu, 2008-02-07 08:13

Dupes of Hazzard, webcomicjunkie!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

I tend to agree with Dupes on this one, though as usual, Greg's post is clever and rings true in many respects.

Being one of them 'Muzlim types' I tend to fear (and dislike) the xenophobia that's been drummed into the minds of people out in the midwest. But, like Duped, I think it's mostly a result of how much (or in this case how little) time they have to research their own sources for information, besides the MSM.

"I grew up Baptist and didn't have any idea I was an evangelical until Papa MSM told me so a few years ago."

It's not just you, most Americans grow up learning everything they know from Papa MSM. That's our biggest problem.

Yes, I agree that we must not let ourselves become divided. And as tempting as it may be to characterize groups of people by the less venerable qualities that many may share in common (this applies to everyone), it's better to gently but surely show them the error of their ways in the hopes that those who can be redirected will take interest, change their minds, and join us in our struggle.

Greg is just about one of the most talented contributors at this site and I understand his frustration. But patience and compassion is a virtue.

Just like we must be careful not to paint all Jews with a zionist brush, we must be careful not to paint ourselves and each other with similar stereotypes.

We are all human and each of us has a free will to choose right from wrong. We have to avoid at all costs the temptation to treat individuals as part of a collective, no matter how much they may have in common.

Collectivism is a distinctly zionist creed. It's what they thrive on.

Individual accountability will be their undoing.

BTW, Jerry Springer is an extremely sophisticated and astute guy - I saw him speak one time outside of his "talk show" and I was surprised - unfortunately, he's greedy and selfish and doesn't mind exploiting others to make a buck. I wonder how much of a zionist he is...

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"Money" has no value - people do.

qrswave | Thu, 2008-02-07 10:18

God knows I'm not intentionally picking arguments or haranguing here but I just want to be clear on this. Greg Bacon said in the post script,

" Although this was written "tongue-in-cheek" as satire, believe me, it's not that far from the truth in many places in the USA, especially the part labeled the "Bible Belt."

That's where around 70 million christians known as Evangelicals and or Pentecostals reside and believe me, they pray for those nukes to start falling so they'll all be "Raptured" up to their version of heaven. These "devout" christians don't give a damn how many people have to be turned into charred corpses, as long as they can experience the "Rapture."

Besides being blatantly wrong it does suggest that we are the catalyst not the effect. It is misdirection. Imagine Dorothy, Scarecrow, the TinMan, and the Cowardly Lion using up all their strength to dispatch the castle guards instead of the Wicked Witch who we find at the end has the guards under her spell. This is a trick of our common enemy to divide us. I'm not condoning the actions of those who pray for someones annihilation, I feel sorry for these people--these people will become the skapegoats for those pulling the strings--the prince of peace alludes these people--truly sad. I argue so that we can understand each other. So that people will stop being fooled into thinking they are superior to those who they need and are needed by. Believe me the Bible Belt in no way has the market cornered in the dunce department despite what you are being told.

Whew! There! I feel better. I've been heard by those with open ears and will stop commenting and let the healing process begin, that is until I am once again betrayed by this damned thin skin and let fly the expletives at some other undeserving soul.

Dupes of Hazzard | Thu, 2008-02-07 10:36

Thank you for the venue provided to air my grievances. Even though we may disagree on some issues, overall, I find your website informative and nicely presented. I find it cathartic to be able to question those who present the news and opinions when I feel questions are warranted. The Old system seems archaic in this regard. Zounds to MSM. The king is dead, long live the king.

P.S. I've heard Jerry Springer was removed from his Cincinatti, Ohio Mayoral seat for passing cold checks to hookers--not so astute, I could be misinformed though.

Dupes of Hazzard | Thu, 2008-02-07 11:21

thanks for joining us!

I don't care how informed he is, Jerry Springer is an ass for hosting the grossly exploitative show that he hosts.

As for his unsavory escapades by check - pardon the vernacular, but I hope his **** falls off.

;)

And yes - ding, dong the king is dead. But, we're still trying to bury him!

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"Money" has no value - people do.

qrswave | Thu, 2008-02-07 11:44

unclesam wakeup

Go, Rep. Kaptur!

Tell Wall Street to Go To Hell!!!

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