Cops bust large prostitution ring in Washington, D.C.

Cops bust large prostitution ring in Washington, DC

SINEP News Service

Today, the DC police announced they had busted the largest prostitution ring in known history in Washington, D.C. The brothel was located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

The police spokesperson said that the fees charged by the prostitutes were phenomenal, with the charges for "services" in the hundreds of millions and sometimes, billions of dollars.

The police named the top four prostitutes, along with descriptions of work rendered and fees:

The leading one's name is George Bush, AKA, "Slippery Mouth." Bush's specialty is being able to fit two or more male appendages into his mouth at one time.
His fees were given out as over one billion dollars an hour.

The time sheets showed that Bush was a favorite of the Israeli embassy and a local group of gangsters known as the "AIPAC Mob."

The next highest money maker is Richard Cheney, AKA "The Dick." Cheney's speciality is being able to anally penetrate several john's at the same time, due to his dexterity and ability to be oblivious to the pain of others.

His going price was 500 million dollars an hour and some of his favorite clients were some of the biggest defense contractors in the DC area.

Next was Nancy Pelosi, AKA "Ol' Dirty Ho''. Pelosi was famous for being able to have sex with at least 10 people at the same time and her clients, some of whom were with the Israeli embassy and some of whom were with the American Enterprise Institute, said she was so good at giving personal service, that no matter how many people were engaging her services at the same time, each and every one felt like they were the one and only.

Pelosi's fees were in the hundred million dollars an hour territory. She was an exclusive client for visiting Israeli Zionists. Police said that Pelosi's addiction to a highly addictive drug known as "Botox" kept her from earning even more money.

Last, but not least, said police, is a certain Joe Lieberman, AKA "Swallow" for his ability to gobble down an amazing amount of male spooge and keep asking for more.

Lieberman's fees were in the millions of dollars an hour territory, but he was looking at an immense increase of his charges if he managed to get into another whorehouse in 2009.

Lieberman's favorite clients included the Israeli embassy, AIPAC, defense contractors and the NSA. But this reporter learned from an anonymous source that "Swallow" was willing to "service" anyone, anytime and anywhere, as long as they would toss a handful of silver coins in his direction.

Police said this gang of prostitutes made upwards of 2 trillions dollars a year for themselves, but that figure could go higher if a new prostitution ring, reported to be headed by one only known as "Johnny Mac", takes over their clientele list in 2009.